15 49.0138 8.38624 1 0 4000 1 https://www.fjnnet.com 300 true 0

Fuck Half Shower Doors – The Awl

Notallglasswallsarecreated?

equal。

Image:SeanO’Sullivan

Thereisnothingbetterthanagoodshower。

Onahotday,it’sbetterthanairconditioningandpopsicles。

Onacoldday,it’llwraparoundyoulikecashmereexcept,well,slipperyandnotatallcashmere。

Showersareoneofmodernlife’sbestcreations。

But,unfortunatelyandunfairly,notallshowersarecreatedequal。

Haveyouevergoneintoanewbathroom,readytoshower,andbeenconfrontedwithonlyhalfofashowerdoor,madeofglass?

Yeah,that’sright,Isaidit,halfaglassdoor。

Onesideisthere,readytosupportyouinyourendeavor,andthenitjustends,cementedtotheshowerframebuthangingintheairlikehalfofahigh?

five。

It’scalleda“fixedpanelseamlessshowerdoor”anditisabullshitdesigninvention。

Thisisn’tanopinion。

Thisisafact。

Andtheworstpartisthattheyseemtobeeverywherenowtoo。

It’sastapleoftrendyhotelsthatyouregretstayinginandnewapartmentbuildingsthatgentrifyBrooklyn。

Somanynewconstructionshavethesedumb-dumbnightmaresthatattimestheyfeellikethey’reinescapable,whichIrealizedwhenImovedintoanewapartmentthismonthandwasfacedwithonetoshowerineverydayforthenext?

year。

Thereisexactlynoreasontohavethem,fromaconsumerperspective。

Infact,theymakeshoweringmiserable。

“Heyguys,youknowwhat’sfun?

Standingnakedinagiantbowl!

”,saidnooneever。

Thelackofaseconddoormeansthatonesideofmeisalwaysexposed,makingmeplayfavorites。

DoIwantmybutttobeoutintheopen,ordoIriskitallandgofullfrontal?

AndwheredoIputmybodywhenIdon’twanttobedirectlyinthelineofthewater?

OhIknow,I’lljuststandoverhere,basicallyinthemiddleoftheroom,shiveringuntilpartsofmybodyfall?

off。

Meanwhile,allofthewaterthatshouldhavebeenonmybody,keepingmewarm,isnowonmybathroomfloor,creatingaflashflood-styledisasterformetowalkintopost-shower。

Thisisjustdownrightmeantothebathmat。

Thisisnotwhatthebathmatsignedupfor。

Itwasthereforminimalwatercontact,nottobemyownversionofNoah’s?

ark。

Infuriatedandunconvincedthatanyonewouldactuallyaskforthistrashdesign,IdecidedtodosomeresearchtofindoutwhatIwasmissing。

Myinternetsleuthingledmetotwotheories:ahatredofcleaningandaloveofbaths。

Apparentlypeopledon’tlikecleaningtheirshowersomuchthattheythinkthathavingjusthalfofawalltocleanonceinawhileisworthalloftheirtrashshowersinbetween。

Whichis,I’msorry,pretty?

lazy。

Peoplealsoseemtofinditeasiertotakealuxuriousbathwithoutasecondglassdoorintheirway。

This,Ikindofunderstandexceptthatbathsaretotallyoverrated,asyou’rejustlayinginyourowndirtwater。

So,neitheroftheseexplanationsareterriblycompellingtome。

Thus,Idecidedtogotothesourceofthisbullshitinvention:interiordesigners。

Isthisjustoneofthosethingsthatdesignerslovesonowweallhavetosufferfor?

it?

Istartedwithmygirlfriend’smomanddadwhohappentobeaninteriordesignerandarchitect,respectively。

FirstIaskedwhatthey’recalled,towhichhermomsaid,“structuralglassfloating,”whichisnotathing。

MygirlfriendandIeventuallyrealizedsheisreferencing“floatingstructuralglass,”whichissomethingtheyuseinconferenceroomsandstairsatthehospitalsandlargescalebuildingstheydesign。

Herdadjustcalledit“awholebathroomshower。

”Ithinkhegottothisfromtheideaofa“wetroom。

”ButthedifferenceisthatthewetroomisevenworsethanwhatI’mtalking?

about。

Awetroomcanhaveahalf-glassdoorbutsometimesithasnodooratall!

Thefloorareaoftheshowerisflushtothegroundsothatthewaterdrainsawaythroughanoutletsetintothefloor!

Basicallyhalfofyourbathroomisashower!

I’mlivid!

HewasnotwrongbutI’mlivid!

Theotheroptionthatexistsiscalleda“Europeanshowerdoor,”these“enclosures,”astheyarecalledoverandoveragainonGoogle,areoftenhalf-glassbutthey’reevenworsesomehow,becausetheyareonhingesandswingbothinandout。

Thismeansthatyourtinydumb-doordrips,justrightontothefuckinggroundorthatyouswingitintoyou,whichIhavedoneandyouarelyingifyousayyouhavenot。

AfterallthisresearchitwasnicetofindIwasontherightpathbutupsettingthatthereweresomanydifferenttypesofterrible。

Ineededanotherroundofsupport,soIreachedouttoanothersource:aresidentialinteriordesigner。

EnterEmmaLesser,adesignerfromdesignfirm,EmmaBeryl。

Shemakesherclient’sNewYorkapartmentslookliketheyaren’tlocatedinacitythatiscoveredinrat-piss。

Shetoldmethatthebiggestbenefitofthesemonstrositiesisthatitactuallycanmakeabathroomlookandfeelbigger。

“Fromanaestheticstandpointyourbathroomwillappearlargerbecausethere’snovisibleshowerbarrier,yourshoweritselfwillfeelroomierandlessclaustrophobic。



This[dramaticpause]makessenseandisprobablyimportantinasmallspacelikeahotelroomorNewYorkapartment。

Also,apparentlythereisnostandardsizeforthesethings,youcancustomizethesizeofthedoor,whichgivesthemdesignflexibilityandmakesthemeasytoinstall。

Iaskedanotherdesigner,CaseyDeBoisfromDeboisDesign,whosaidshealsofeltthatthebenefitsweredesign-based。

“Whenusingreallyinterestinganduniquetileintheshower,thelastthingIwouldwanttodoiscoveritwithashowercurtain。

”Ah?

fair。

Butwhatifyou’rejustanormalplebewhodoesn’thavefancyshowertiles?

Turnsoutthebenefitactuallyiscleanliness!

BothEmmaandCaseyreferencedthefactthatthey’reeasiertoclean,leadingtolessmoldandwillshowlesswearthanatypicalframedshowerdoor。

Thismademefeelslightlybadaboutmakingfunofpeoplewhoaretoolazytocleantheirshowerdoors?

oops。

Anyway,doesallofthismeanAmericanbathroomsarebeingrecognizedasanimportantspaceinyourhome,asopposedtowhereyoushitandreadarticlesaboutTrump?

Emmaseemstothinkso,“Inmyopinion,inrecentyearstherehasbeenanemphasisondesigningyourbathroomtobemorepersonalized,comfortable,andrelaxing。

Thesimplicityofframelessshowerdoorsisanappealingwaytocleanlyencloseyourshowerwithoutdistractingfromotherdesignchoices。



Hmmmm。

Okay。

Well。

I’mdownwiththeideaoftreatingyourbathroomwiththerespectthatitdeserves,especiallyifI’mstayinginanicehotelthatIonlyspendafewhoursinonmywholetrip。

Butcanweagreetorethinkthisone?

Formyassandmypoor,poor?

bathmat?

MackenzieisawriterandcreativeconsultantbasedinBrooklyn。


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